Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Art of Breathing

I once heard that the reason babies die in their sleep is because they forget to breathe.  I always wondered about that - the body is an automated machine, and breathing comes naturally, I was sure alarms would go off if your air intake somehow stopped or diminished.

Then my "under control" asthma got out of control, and I found myself reminding myself to breathe.  Yes, you do forget to breathe....your air intake goes down sharply and your body goes into a kind of hibernation, and before you know it, you're not breathing!

For the last two months I've been battling to keep my asthma under control - guess who is losing this battle?  It all started with a weekend trip to Sedona during the summer; it was humid and I found myself having difficulty breathing the whole time I was there.  I assumed that it would go away once I got back to Phoenix, so I ignored it.  Save the occasional cough, things seemed normal until I started exercising.  I was getting up super early in the morning and walking on the treadmill for about an hour before going to work.  I was so proud of myself, I was actually enjoying the exercise and then fatigue set in.  At first I thought it was because I was going to bed late and waking up super early, but within a week I couldn't keep awake - I would crash into bed the minute I got home from work.  Soon I stopped exercising because I simply didn't have the energy, then the chest pain started.  I went to the doctor and they were concerned about my blood work, but an xray showed that my lungs were clear, so they didn't see any problems and sent me home with indications to come back in a couple of weeks for a follow-up.  Within a couple of days my breathing went down to about 50%, my chest started to really hurt and I was experiencing all the symptoms of a possible blood cloth.  Next thing I know I'm in the emergency room!  Eight hours later I'm back at home with prescription for acid reflux, and extra medication for asthma.

Fast forward two months later, the acid reflux is long gone but now I'm having a bad asthma attack every f_____ng day!!  I have visions of dying at the office and falling under the desk not to be discovered until I start smelling.  Yes people, just like babies, adults do die of asthma.  This is slowly robbing me of my life!  I have no energy to do anything at all!  I'm sorry if I sound bitter, I'm just tired of not being able to breathe, tired of people asking me questions in the middle of an asthma attack and expecting an answer (??!!), tired of being tired, really!!

That's it for my anti asthma rant - and to think that I'm in the one state where people go to "cure" their asthma problems - ha, ha, ha.....funny, very funny!

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