A Hostage in My Own Home

I'm a hostage in my own home! The culprit? A gigantic roach, the size of my car, that has taken over my kitchen - I'm definitely moving........but where........where in Arizona can I find a place without these creatures!

I came down tonight to drop some dishes on my sink and there it was, the thing, staring at me! Ten minutes later, there I was, sitting on top of the dinning room table holding a broom and wondering where the heck was the bug spray! Ten more minutes and I had a decision to make.......would I stay on top of the darn table the whole night, or should I just concede defeat and surrender the downstairs to the monster? Well, I knew this battle was lost the minute the thing started moving and hid somewhere inside the cabinets under the sink. Since I was not about to go looking for it, and it was too late at night to go buy bug spray.....I had to concede defeat, climb down from the table and retreat to the upstairs, where I slept with the lights on and one eye open, in anticipation of an ambush by the roach brigade.

I consider myself very independent woman, but right now I need a boyfriend! One that will not run away like a little girl at the sight of bugs like these! Wish I had a lot of money so I could hire a "Roach Killer" and keep them around 24/7 - of all things, roaches is what I fear the most! Another minus for freaking Arizona! Haven't seen so many of them since 1997, when I left that roach infested apartment in Wallington. Now, aren't these things affectionally called "water bugs"? Doesn't that term imply love of water? Then what the heck are these things doing in the middle of the desert!! They're everywhere! I keep thinking back to my apartment-hunting days, and my most important question to the property managers - "are there roaches here?" - and the answer would always be...."I haven't seen any but cannot tell you that you will not find any"...........never ever did I get a NO, that's when I knew that these things were everywhere!

First thing tomorrow morning, buy roach spray.......the war is on........